O noes, not again!!!

I can't believe that people still do this. I don't know how they got hold of my UiO mail, but somehow they did. Here's the pack of lies the crackpots SPAMMED me with today (note: I succumbed to temptation and removed the annoyingly inappropriate spaces within the sentences and made the paragraphs):

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Subject: hi
Date: 2008-03-07 05:25

From: Mrs Monica Hasan

ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Dr.Philip
Hasan who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $28Million Dollars (Twenty eight Million United State Dollars) with one finance/security company in Europe.

Presently, This money is still with the Security Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this Fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this funds to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company in Europe. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this Funds. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein and I have set aside 20% for you and for your time.

Hoping to hearing from you.
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Monica Hasan
hasanmornica@aim.com

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Lord, give me strength not to spam this email address with hatemail. Notice how the email address at the end has a type-o in it ("mornica" instead of "monica")... And also, notice how she does not write the name of the US "Security Company" at all. I.e. you can't google it. Furthermore, the grammar is downright ABSURD in many of the sentences, and if the "lord" is her "shephard" she should at least learn how to capitalize the "L" and learn how to spell, so the reader won't think of the singer in "Ally McBeal". In fact, she should have capitalized many other words in this mail.

Lastly, what kind of lame excuse of a disease is "stroke sickness"????????

I tell ya, if she really was a Christian, she would learn how to write this properly. She would also donate her stash to a Christian non-profit organization at once instead of trusting a complete stranger. Her intentions of putting this play money to use would be slightly more credible then, but only just slightly. Or if she really wants to put this to good use, at least use some of it to pay for a proper class in English Grammar before writing this crap.

Lord, have mercy on whoever wrote this - 'cause I don't think I can.


Signing off (slightly annoyed and still befuddled as to how they got hold of my email),
Elise