I like this one, too:
"Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries." - Corita Kent
Find raisins in that if you can! ;-)
Raisins (and chocolate) forever,
Elise
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(One further addition to post) Ps.: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! And another little funny thing:
Heee... Saw that show live a couple of years ago, and that was one of my favorite skits of theirs. I.e. I couldn't help myself from posting it. God bless YouTube!
"Se, han knipser med venstre..."
"JA, DE' GJORDE 'EG!"
"Han skulle brukt høyre hånd..."
"Men gjorde 'eg de'? NÅÅÅI!"
XD...
25 comments:
Izzard about The Church of England, and how England is all about tea and cake, and does not have ultimatums..:
"Cake or death?"
"Eh, cake please."
"Very well! Give him cake!"
"Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice."
"You! Cake or death?"
“Uh, cake for me, too, please."
"Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?"
"Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..."
"You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"
"Well, I meant cake!"
"Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England! Cake or death?"
"Uh, cake please."
"Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush. So what do you want?"
"Well, so my choice is 'or death’? I’ll have the chicken then, please."
And, of course, Izzard about the idea of Original Sin:
Original sin! What a hellish idea that is! People have to go,
"Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon."
"I've never heard of that one before! Five Hail Mary's and two Hello, Dolly's."
"Oh, all right..."
"Bless me, Father, for I have slept with my next door neighbor's wife."
"Heard it! I want an original sin."
Yes, Izzard is funny! :-D "Cake or death?" "Five Hail Mary's and two Hello Dolly's..." Tee hee hee... XD British humor at its best!!! Well, except for Monty Python, obv.
And another one right back at'cha:
Robin Hood to Maid Marion Izzard style (I hope I got this right): "Come, Maid Marion, let's kiss with tongues!"
Would be fun if Robin Hood actually said something like this. Just to get one's mind off the regular clichés. Not that there's anything wrong with clichés, of course.
Hehehe... Looong comment comming up, since it's a copy of the transcript of the Robin Hood part of his show.. =P
Yeah… and the biggest myth that we have in England is Robin Hood. It’s not really a miracle dream, it’s a myth- it’s a myth and a legend. Robin Hood! It’s our most famous English myth, and it’s been totally stolen by Hollywood, so much so that Robin Hood has an American accent, always.
(American accent) “Hi, I’m Robin Hood. Where’s the Maid Mari-an? And the Sheriff of Notting-ham!”
“I’m a Notting-ham man, born and bred. I live in Sherwood Forest. I’m from around here…”
We wouldn’t believe an English-speaking Robin Hood.
“Hello, I’m Robin Hood.”
“Nooo… You don’t have the Nottingham twang!”
And the reason why Hollywood films just killed us in Britain is there’s so much sex- they’ve got sex, sex, and sex in there. “Hi, I’m Robin Hood. Where’s the Maid Marian? Maid Marian, come here, let us kiss with tongues! (mimes passionate, breathtaking kissing) Let us go and shag in my tree house!”
Whereas an English Robin Hood- “Marian… cup of tea? My tree house is being prepared… Up the stairs… (mimes climbing a spiral staircase) Staircase. Yes, linen tablecloth, you like it? Darjeeling, or what? Now these are my etchings…”
Back in the ‘40s and ‘50s they took sex out. I don’t know, the Noel Coward –sort of “Into Which We Serve”-type films…
“Darling, I’m off to the war.”
“Don’t go, darling, don’t go to the war.”
“I must go to the war, darling, they won’t start without me.”
“Don’t go, darling, it’s dangerous- rat-tat-tat boom, and all those noises.”
“I must go, darling, it’s my duty as a Cockney man.”
All the accents were really fucked, weren’t they? “We, as East enders – we as people from the East End of London, the working class of London, we must go with our strange accents… go to the war. I must do it.” If that’s the East End of London accent, then what’s a posh accent?
“(complete nonsense through stretched-out lips), said a posh person to me today… He also said, (nonsense resumes) And I believe him! It’s my duty to go. Little Johnnie, little Susie, I’m off to the war.”
“Don’t go, Daddy, don’t go.”
“I must go.”
“Bring us back something, Daddy, will you?”
“I’ll bring you back a Nazi with real hair.” (walks away normally, then turns into a galloping giraffe)
Dick Van Dyke, he went for a Cockney accent. He sounds like he went to Australia to learn it! (Australian accent) “G’day, Mary Poppins, yeah, how you doin’, ma’am? I’m a chimney sweep , absolutely. Talking to Charlie today, he’s a chimney sweep too! (singing) ‘I’m a chimney sweep, damn cool about that, gor blimey!’ Put another tub o’ lager in the barbie.” That is an Australian accent, check it out!
And also, Robin Hood is a myth! It’s a myth! It is not true; it’s based on bits of fact. His name probably wasn’t Robin Hood, just… Bin! All natural, lived in a tree!
“’ello, I’m… Bin, I’m Robin… give us cash! Give us cash! I steal from the rich and give to the poor! I’m trying to be a myth; give us cash!”
“No, I’m not gonna give you cash.”
“Go on, I steal from the rich. Are you rich?”
“No, I’m… comfortable.”
“That’s not good, I cannot steal from people who are comfortable and give to the moderately impoverished; that’s not gonna swing, is it?”
“Well, it’s not my fault. I’m just here in my pogo stick.” (mimes bouncing away)
“Come back here, you want a fight?” (sings fanfare, mimes shooting an arrow, but gets the onomatopoeia wrong) “Sorry, I just threw a sword at you.”
That’s a sword noise, I meant to go… (sound of shooting arrows) I just went … (sound of sword stabbing)
“Are you firing swords at me?”
“Sorry!”
ps. Excellent video-clip!! Had me laughing hard.. =D
Dude, there it is! XD I sort of got it correct... Not completely, but got the main idea.
And yes, Ylvis ROCKS!!! Seriously, after that show my sides and cheeks hurt like heck! There aren't that many times where I've laughed as much as that!
I found a raisin....:P
Where'd you find it? :-P
That guy Victor Hugo wasn't all fixated on the sexual stuff though..:
Quote of the Day - Victor Hugo - "One can resist the invasion of an army but one cannot resist the invasion of ideas."
;-)
Nah, I didn't find any. Just trying to scare you. :P
Eva: Ooh, nice one! Hm, if Victor Hugo wasn't all that fixated on it, at least he had some tendencies. He didn't only write "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and "Les Misérables". ;-) Strange to think that he too had a dirty mind. (To think he actually went to the bathroom as well! *gasp* Not to mention that he wasn't only a literary genious, but actually... human... :-O)
At least it wasn't something about raisins.
Ole: (2 months! :-D) God became a man, but the devil became a woman? (õ.O) Hm. Thanks a lot. We don't like him anymore. :-P A literary genious, perhaps, but somewhat chauvinistic. Alas, the many faces of Victor Hugo... ;-)
Sara: WHAT?! NO RAISINS?! :-O Come on, you got me all worked up here, and then you don't find ANYTHING?! I'm gobsmacked.
Seriously, raisins make all the difference.
Ooh. Misogyny. Big word. Love the word, hate the meaning. :-P Anyway.
I'd understand if men hated us, but one of our own?! What's that?! Think that Paglia must have had some serious issues in her past lives. Wonder what made her hate females so much. Just curious.
Ladies, we've got some serious work to do...
And as for popularity, it depends on how you look at it. After all, whether we're portrayed as decent, braindead or just plain scoundrels, I think we're still just as popular as you fellas. "All PR er god PR", isn't that what they say? *trying to fight back*
Aaand about that Paglia thing: Have we discussed this before? Suddenly got a weird feeling of déjà-vu... Hmmm... Straaaange.
"Behind every successful man there stands a shocked woman.."
"Some leaders are born women.."
"A smart man once said; 'I don't know, go ask a woman'.."
"A woman bought you into this world, so you have no right to disrespect one"
-Tupac Shakur
"Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: their measurements are being taken and compared."
-Erica Jong
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."
-Sylvia (a character by Nicole Hollander)
"Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks."
-Jean Kerr
“Though we adore men individually, I agree that as a group they're rather stupid."
--Mary Poppins
"Why did God create men? Because vibrators cant mow the lawn."
-madonna
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Johnny, wanna play house?"
He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."
He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."
The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband!"
"When I have stress, I stage a mock pro-wrestling bout with my husband. My favorite technique is to kick him in the groin. When I get a good kick in, I feel happy that I am married."
-Japanese wife, quoted in Japan Times
Womans Prayer:
"Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand a man. love to forgive him and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength i'll just beat him to death."
Hahaha! XD Eva, thanks a bunch! You probably even didn't have to prove your point by posting that many of them, but heck, these are funny!
Oooh my dog,
Oooh Long John,
Oooh Don Johnson,
Oooh Don Piaaaaano,
Whyyyy I eyes ya',
All the live long day...
Ta-ta,
Elise
YES, Adam DID take a bite from that apple!!! (Touché!) Ergo, you're just as bad as the rest of us! (Sorry, you had that one coming... ;-)) Somehow I don't think he said "Ooooh noooo, Eve darling! We shouldn't eat the forbidden apple, or else we won't enjoy eternal life!" or even "Not now, hon'; I've got a headache." (Besides, that last line is ours for keeps anyway...) Who's master (or should I say "mistress"?) of the household now! :-P
And no, I (for one) do not believe you to suffer from misogyny. Rather the opposite. Which I like. A lot. Further explanation/elaboration on this subject is restricted to the author of the previous comment and that person only. And yes, we do love flattery. (Who on Earth could you be referring to, pray? :-P)
As for masculine looks... Well, let's just say that they aren't exactly loatheable... ;-) (With particular reference to a certain someone of my immediate acquaintance... though he's not here at the moment. *sulk*)
With reference to the offside-rule, yes, you fellas have perhaps an advantage. After my almost 21 years I still don't get it. I thought I got it once, but I didn't. So close, but yet so far... Not sure if the notion of the offside-rule is that crucial to my existence, though.
*frolicking over to Bedfordshire, still snapping fingers*
You know, I'll leave you Christian fellows with that 'Garden of Eden' anology thingy... =P
But... now that I think of it... With 'apple' being such a sign of fertility... and the snake could mean Adam's private parts... Then it could all be symbolism of Adam seducing Eve, and she getting pregnant! =O Wohooo!
"Hi, I’m Adam. Where’s the Maid Eve? Maid Eve, come here, let us kiss with tongues! *passionate, breathtaking kissing* Let us go and shag in my tree house!"
*falls over laughing* ;-D
*laughs* Oh darling Eva what ever shall I do about you...
I do however think that it was the other way around. That it was in fact Eve seducing Adam. I mean she's totally like: "Wanna come and have a bite of my apple?" *Eve slinks off to the tree hut*
Eva: Ok, I can understand the deal with the snake seducing Eve and all, but, er... how did pregnancy come into the picture? *feeling like some sort of ignoramus* And the whole deal about "kissing with tongue", I can like, toadly picture it! Maid Mari-an, eat your heart out; this here is REAL passion!
Sara: Yes, it was in fact the other way around. BUT the snake seduced Eve (Bad! Bad! Bad!), so it is in fact the snake who was the seducer in the first place.
You naughty snake, you... ;-) (That came out SO wrong!)
Oh yeah, I can just picture Eve with a Marilyn Monroe kind of voice - you know, as if she's really far away in her own little world. Or simply just high. Presumably on (the then eternal) life. The voice and of course a sultry stare... "Wanna come and have a bite of my... apple?"
Hm, I think I went a tad too far on this one... :-S
Hm, yes, the snake is supposed to be the devil. (In most cases the devil is portrayed as a male, and if one goes into the symbolic details - as Eva did - the snake could represent the male... wotsit, thus enhancing the masculine associations with the devil. But anyway, the devil is the devil; let's just let that go and say that both males and females have devilish tendencies. There.) But you can't say that Adam DIDN'T eat the apple when offered!
*gasp* The Garden of Eden thing is all about FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE?! :-O Who'd have thought of THAT?! Dirty minds? We? Never! *whistles a tune and looks away innocently* Well, it's better than being pervy.
Heh, reminded of a line Brian's mom in "Life of Brian" once said: "Sex, sex, sex, that's all they think about these days..." :-P (Maybe that's why there are so many comments here.) But yeah, that thing you said about self-awareness is a good interpretation of it.
You? Pretentious? Not at all! :-D Just because you use big words such as "misogyny" and "advocated" doesn't mean you are ostentatious. (Ooh, another big word: "Ostentatious"...) :-P Besides, big words are fuuun. I relish in it!
Ole, of course we knoooow that the garden of Eden thingy is all about knowledge, but that's not as fun as playing out the more sensual sides!! =D
Elise, the apple can be a symbol of fertility.. "fleshy womb" and the seeds in it and all that.. =)
Sara, do you really need suggestions on what to do with me...? *wiggles eyebrows suggestingly*
As for the whole snake thing being a symbol of the devil.. If I can draw in the Tarot here, the card The Devil there is about the physical pleasures.. as well as materialism, and feeling trapped, and about temptations.. So, the snake can definitively be a sexual image!! ;-D
...but again, I actually know that it's all about knowledge.. =P That's the same as in many other religions, amongst others the Norse belief.. =)
And yessss, we women are sensual beings, so no wonder we like to be a bit dirty minded.. ;-D *laughs*
Yeah, figured out the connection after I'd written that comment. Thanks for the explanation, though! My mind wasn't that far off after all. :-)
Ah, are we talking about "female intuition" now?
*grins* That pic of the sirens... Wasn't it something along the lines of Ulysses wanting to hear the infamous siren song, and so he had his crew put something in their ears so they couldn't hear and be tempted/seduced by the song, and he had them tie him to the mast so he himself could hear the song without jumping overboard?? Would explain the rather peculiar look in his eyes, yeah.. =P
Yeah, think that was how the story went. Cute, innit? ;-)
And as for female intuition... you are the master - or mistress - of that, Eva.
Cor, suddenly reminded of a scene from "Life of Brian":
JUDITH
I do feel, Reg, that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such
a divergence of interests within its power base.
REG
Agreed. Francis?
FRANCIS
Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man...
STAN
Or woman.
FRANCIS
...or woman. To rid himself...
STAN
Or herself.
FRANCIS
...or herself.
REG
Agreed.
FRANCIS
Thank you brother.
STAN
Or sister.
FRANCIS
...or sister. Where was I?
REG
I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS
Oh, right.
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And then this goes on to the Loretta bit and the woof-nibble chips, otter's noses, ocelot spleens, etc. Heee... Funni. Verrifunni.
*Bounces off to the land of Descartes and Plato*
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